Your short simple sentences capture in meter the starkness of what you describe. Very nice touch.

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The world is deep--and more profound than day would have thought.

very well done!

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this account is closing soon all new postings will be at *thatIam

I like this poem a great deal. I have only a couple of minor suggestions:


Their blank ambulance faces were silent.
-- (I think the removal of "blank" would be an improvement here. "ambulance faces" is so much more striking without that modifier weakening it.)

All they want, is a little whiskey.
-- (The comma after 'want' shouldn't be there.)

And they demand, they demand endlessly.
-- (I think "And" could be removed to take away the feeling that this is not a seperate sentence and therefore spoiling the overall structure a bit.))


Other than those few minor things, I think this is marvellous. Well done.

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<salshep> <ordie>I should wite something awsome
<salshep> It's true
<ordie> You're write. That's my one-size-fits-all reort.

_{#Cabal. Because someone needs to be.}